Gamgams problem

by email bastard 19. August 2009 17:38
Reply to ad for mobile poo cleaning for dogs. This guy was really serious with several pics of him, his car and him in "the act". He was looking for trades and listed about 30 items he was looking for in exchange for his service.

U come pick up my poops? I has Pleystation3, nice canoe that I trade!

Denho

Sounds good, what kind of trade value were you thinking for the canoe? And what other accessory's do you have for both the canoe and playstation? How many dogs do you have, and where do you live? Once we figure some of these things out I can tell you about how long we can provide service for you in trade for those two items.

Jacob

I has no dogs. PS3 has Madden game and extra control. Canoe comes with padels (4) and can give car rack too. What areas do you serve? I need make sure you can come to where I am.

Denho

Ok if you have no dogs then who's house will I be servicing? We service all of [cities] (just like I said in my ad) So where are you?

Jacob

Ok perfect I near downtown [city]. You service my house. Do you play drums?


Of course I play drums. What kind of service do you want done at your house?

Denho

I want u come over and clean up gamgam. She old and not have good bowels. Newspaper is on the floor so she no make mess but it getting to be big pain to keep cleaning. Need help!!


Wow, what a surprise, a douche bag! I'm so shocked... and impressed with your originality! I've never got the "gamgam" pooped on the floor thing. SO FUNNY! I am on the floor laughing... oh god, so hilarious! Fuck yeah! Best joke ever! But wait, what was the drum joke going to be??? I'm in suspense... please I need to know! Well just let my spam folder know... I'm sure it will find it as funny as... well funny as shit!

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My Little Pony

by email bastard 2. August 2009 19:11
Reply to a wanted ad for My Little Pony figurines

Hey there i got me a bunch of them ponys how much you want i got about 20 or so

Dave

Send me a photo please, and I will make you an offer

James
[Link to his amateur photography website]
i have two box full of them but the are not clean i will take a picture for you when andre is here on saturday is that ok? i need about 40 dollar forthem and that should work unless you have something to trade me for the ponys

Dave

Send me the pics, and we are solid.

James

Honestly? You are getting on my nerves.

Unless you start showing a little fucking respect, the deals off.

Dave

Wait a sec.

You have some pretty sweet photos. How do I go about acquiring some of those?

The pony's were sold. God damn wife. I took care of her though.

Okay... whatever... that doesn't make me feel comfortable with our deal. How is that anyway to talk to a potential customer? You said you are waiting for Andre to get photos to send tomorrow and I said okay, send me the pics and we are good, thus sealing our deal, but you just cursed me off for no reason. Was it because I asked for the photos twice? This tells me three things about you; 1) you are not mentally balanced and 2) you might try and rip me off 3) you might try and rob me, even in public. I can't deal with someone like that, I am sorry. If you still want to send me the photos tomorrow and apologize, we can talk. Stop rushing to conclusions and being a jerk.

James

Wait, what just happened? I just sent you a message and you said something about acquiring something... but I never sent you and photos. And apparently you beat your wife? Dude, what is going on?

Okay.

Let's forget about that and start over. I get a little wild. Here's the deal. I need to buy some of your photos.

Hook me up.

Dave

And if you stop being a wise ass, I might be able to get the ponys.

OH, you are a bot. I understand. I have the photos, I will send them. Where should I write you a check? I can give you all my credit information is that okay? Charge me whatever you want?

To tell you the truth i need to make some extra cash to buy some booze.

but yah, I looked at your little website. Take some decent pictures there. You some kind of expert or something?



Yes, I am an expert. Don't contact me again, thanks.

When are we meeting to exchange ponies and cash and booze?

You said, "The pony's were sold. God damn wife. I took care of her though." Send me good photos.

I found one in my closet. I will sell to you for $900. Very rare. Here:

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Stolen Tents

by email bastard 22. July 2009 07:02
Original Ad:
LOTS OF TENTS FOR SALE

Large lot of military style tents for sale. Please call or email ASAP.
hi i am looking for about 7 tents do you have enough?

eduardo

YES...I have MORE than enough. Currently, I have about 20-30 tenst available.
Call me - XXX-XXX-XXXX

I need 50 or 60. No deal.

Hello, again, Eduardo...
I guess I'm a bit confused. Your first email said you needed 7 tents. The next email from you says you need 50-60 tents. What gives? Regardless...here's an idea...why not buy all that I have...and you can get the balance of them from an Army/Navy Surplus store. I've seen some @ G.I.Joe's.

I have better idea. You buy 30 more tents from this G.I. Joe guy and then you'll have 60 total. I buy 60 tents from you. Deal?

Hi again Eduardo..
I'm not in the business of 'buying and selling tents...' sorry. I happen to have these tents from a USMC command I was stationed before they closed the location. I've priced the tents at several places and found them to be much more expensive than what I'm selling them for, hence the reasoning behind putting them on C.L. for a greatly discounted price. I feel $25 is more than fair, which is why I'm selling so many of them. I originally had over 200 of them, and the count of between 20-30 is approximately what I have left today. Sorry if this 'plan' is not sufficient for you. Have a great week ahead.

Thank you ed that is very nice explaination. I am very much interested in buying your stolen tents, where can we meet and yes I bring cash.

There was absolutely NO reason for your rudeness. Stolen? You don't even know me I can tell this has been an entire waste of my time. Please stop your email to me

No rudeness. I just see you say you took these from your Navy base so sorry need to be more discreet since military probably monitor ur emails. I'm a stealer too. Last job I take $6000 worth of lumber and then at pizza store have full pot/pan set from that so I know how you think. Us guys need to stick together lets me buy all your tents how much for all? THanks

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